Naked Bunyip Dancing Read online

  NAKED

  BUNYIP

  DANCING

  This project has been assisted by the Commonwealth Government through the Australia Council, its arts funding and advisory body.

  First published in 2005

  Copyright © Text, Steven Herrick 2005

  Copyright © Illustrations, Beth Norling 2005

  All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any information storage and retrieval system, without prior permission in writing from the publisher.The Australian Copyright Act 1968 (the Act) allows a maximum of one chapter or ten per cent of this book, whichever is the greater, to be photocopied by any educational institution for its educational purposes provided that the educational institution (or body that administers it) has given a remuneration notice to Copyright Agency Limited (CAL) under the Act.

  Allen & Unwin

  83 Alexander St

  Crows Nest NSW 2065

  Australia

  Phone: (61 2) 8425 0100

  Fax: (61 2) 9906 2218

  Email: [email protected]

  Web: www.allenandunwin.com

  National Library of Australia

  Cataloguing-in-Publication entry:

  Herrick, Steven.

  Naked bunyip dancing.

  ISBN 1 74114 655 0.

  1. School children – Juvenile fiction. I Norling, Beth. II. Title

  823.3

  Cover and text illustrations by Beth Norling

  Cover and text design by Sandra Nobes

  Typeset in Bembo by Tou-Can Design

  Printed in Australia by McPherson’s Printing Group

  10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

  ‘Wise things Billy has said this term’ was published in Blast Off,

  NSW School Magazine, March 2003

  ‘Mr Carey’s war poem’ was published as ‘Early Monday Morning’ in

  Lines in the Sand, New Writing on War and Peace, Frances Lincoln Ltd, London, UK, 2003

  STEVEN HERRICK

  pictures by Beth Norling

  Contents

  Michael

  Our new teacher

  Nicknames

  Poetry, after lunch

  Billy

  Alex, on holiday?

  The J-man

  The class respond to the J-man

  Michael’s secret

  Emily

  Jason

  The Principal welcomes our new secretary

  Michael converts to yoga

  Anna, quiet and still

  The boy with the talking bottom

  Billy’s yoga

  Michael’s quiet lunch

  Co-curricular activities

  Alex, any day of the week

  Mr Carey announces an excursion

  Anna and the excursion

  Michael on the excursion

  Billy and the excursion

  School Rules!?

  Peter – the graffiti-artist?

  Billy and poetry

  Sophie’s alternative poem . . .

  Class 6C at cricket practice

  Peter’s magic fingers

  Billy asks Mr Jonesforthwalton a question

  Music, with Ms Libradore

  Michael and Maths

  The class meet Sharita

  Sarah and belly dancing for beginners

  Alex’s empty suitcase

  A concert? A play?

  Michael does a quick count...

  Emily

  Peter the host

  Sophie and poetry

  Jason’s secret

  The Rap Master ducks for cover

  Mr Carey tells us about his first game of football

  Peter tells us about his first game of football

  An autumn poem by Billy

  A spring rap by the J-man

  A summer poem by Peter

  A winter poem by Emily

  Michael’s broken remote control

  Questions Mr Carey has not answered, yet.

  Class 6C answer a question

  Anna’s secret

  No one’s secret any more...

  Emily

  Jason

  Alex’s Saturday soccer

  Michael’s weekend treat

  Anna and Beyonce

  Wise things Billy has said this term

  Jason, and parents

  Peter, in love?

  Billy, in love?

  The class respond to Billy’s haircut

  Letter to an author

  Letter to a rapper

  Concert practice

  The Co-curricular guest

  Billy and the bugle

  Billy? No way!

  Jason

  Emily

  The hero of Macbeth

  Anna and the fool of Macbeth

  Electricity in Anna’s house

  Michael watching the weather

  Sarah asks Mr Jonesforthwalton three questions

  Mr Carey jigged school!

  Jason foresees the future

  Sophie forsees her future

  The poems Sophie didn’t finish

  Class 6C and their favourite birds

  Windy

  Mr Holditz

  Mr Carey’s first day back

  Doodle Alex

  Alex the cartoonist

  Emily learns the truth

  Jason

  Sophie tells

  Jason

  Emily

  Jason explains...

  Billy saves the day

  Peter

  Alex agrees

  Anna and the lasting war

  Anna’s poem on World War One

  Peter’s war poem

  Billy’s war poem

  Mr Carey’s war poem

  War (a poem by Sophie)

  Michael and the winner

  Billy

  Anna and the genius

  Love is in the air (Anna’s latest secret)

  The Billy poem to end all poems, okay!

  Anna and the big night

  Michael and the raffle

  J-man Class 6C Rap

  Emily

  Jason

  Sophie

  Ahmet

  Billy’s surprise

  Peter

  Michael and the first prize

  The Principal asks Mr Jonesforthwalton a question

  About the author

  Michael

  It’s the same every year.

  38 degrees in the shade

  as we trudge back to school,

  thinking of the beach

  and the long days swimming

  and hanging out,

  wearing what we like,

  eating when we like,

  doing what we like,

  and now…

  Mum even ironed my uniform!

  I’m walking along the scorching bitumen

  with Peter,

  who can’t stop talking

  about how much he ate

  on Christmas day,

  and how many presents he got,

  and where his family plan to go

  for holidays next year,

  and as he says that,

  he stops,

  and it hits him.

  Next year is

  a long time away

  from where we are now,

  walking through

  a blistering summer

  going back to school.

  Our new teacher

  Mr Carey has long hair,

  and a beard.

  He wears flared trousers,

  and beads,

  and a T-shirt with the slogan

  ‘Meat is murder’ on the front,

  and ‘Mc
Donald’s = McJunk’ on the back.

  Today is his first day.

  He plays us music

  by someone called

  Bob Dylan,

  who sounds like

  he swallowed a bag of marbles

  and got two stuck up his nose.

  Mr Carey closes his eyes,

  raises his arms,

  and sings along

  with Mr Dylan.

  The whole class

  is nervously quiet,

  watching.

  When the bell rings

  no one moves.

  We all stare at Mr Carey,

  who turns off the music,

  bows, smiles,

  and says,

  ‘Thank you, children.

  One day, I hope we’ll sing together.

  After lunch,

  we’ll read poetry.’

  This is going to be

  one very interesting year!

  Nicknames

  Mr Carey, the madman – Sophie

  Carey, the crooner – Anna

  Carey, the scary! – Ahmet

  Marble nose! – Me!

  The beaded one – Jason

  The bearded beaded one – Emily

  Mr McDonald’s – Alex (who loves hamburgers)

  Mr Vegetarian – Sarah (who hates hamburgers)

  The tofu butcher – Peter (no, I don’t get it either)

  Mrs Batlow, come back – Rachel (who liked our last teacher)

  Mrs Batlow, come back – Sean (who didn’t like our last teacher!)

  Carey, the hairy – Billy

  We all look at Billy

  and together

  we nod

  and say

  in a whisper,

  ‘Carey, the hairy.’

  Poetry, after lunch

  At least Mr Carey

  didn’t make us write

  a boring essay on

  ‘what we did on our holidays’

  so he can’t be too bad.

  He read us poetry

  and some of it was okay,

  and he didn’t try to teach us

  about images and metaphors

  and similes.

  I hate similes!

  Our old teacher always used to say,

  ‘A simile is when you say

  something is like something else.’

  We’d all laugh at old Mrs Batlow

  with her grey hair and granny glasses

  saying this was like that,

  and we were like this,

  all the time, like,

  she was sounding like Jessica Simpson!

  Mr Carey read aloud,

  and he asked us what we thought.

  At first, no one raised their hand.

  We weren’t sure what to say,

  then, finally,

  Peter said he liked the one on food,

  Sarah said she liked the animal poem,

  Ahmet liked the football poem,

  but when Mr Carey asked Billy

  which poem he liked,

  Billy,

  who had been staring out the window,

  quick as a flash, said,

  ‘I liked the poem on punk music.’

  Mr Carey looked confused.

  ‘I didn’t read a poem on punk.’

  And Billy smiled

  and said,

  ‘Exactly.’

  Billy

  I think Mr Carey

  smiled at my punk joke.

  I’m sure

  underneath all that beard hair

  I saw a slight upturning

  of the lips.

  Could we have a teacher

  with a sense of humour?

  I thought they went out of fashion

  along with beards and Bob Dylan!

  But I’d be willing to put up with poetry,

  and awful Mr Dylan,

  if it meant we could have a laugh.

  Alex, on holiday?

  I’m sure glad Mr Carey

  didn’t ask us to write

  about our holiday.

  How do you write an essay

  on helping your dad move out

  to go and live in a little flat

  around the corner?

  And spending half the time

  sitting in the bedroom

  listening to your parents

  argue

  over what Dad can take

  and what has to stay behind?

  And every argument ends

  with one of them saying,

  ‘As long as Alex is happy.’

  That’s when I put the pillow

  tight over my ears

  so I couldn’t hear any more

  and so I wouldn’t shout,

  ‘I’m not happy!’

  I spent exactly twenty days

  at Dad’s place,

  and twenty days

  at our house with Mum,

  which I think is my parents’ idea

  of being fair and even.

  I couldn’t wait for school to start.

  How weird is that?

  The J-man

  I’m Jackson Jacobs – the J-man.

  Coolest kid in the land.

  New in school.

  Ain’t no fool.

  Jacobs the name – call me Jackson.

  Rappin’s the game if you want satisfaction.

  Got sunglasses – yeah.

  Got a beanie – yeah.

  Baggy pants – baggy, yeah.

  Walk with a carefree lope.

  Ain’t no nerdy dope.

  I’m so cool I’m a refrigerator.

  Hear me sing, excitement generator.

  Talk in rhyme.

  Yeah, all the time.

  Jackson – the J-man.

  Wish I was American.

  But I’m new in school

  and I’m from Dubbo.

  Don’t go to Dubbo

  no no

  no Dubbo

  nothing rhymes with Dubbo

  so I gotta go.

  Remember me, I’m free.

  I’m Jackson – the J-man.

  The class respond

  to the J-man

  Cool

  – Sarah.

  Ice, baby, ice.

  – Isabella.

  Great shoes. Skate shoes.

  – Alex.

  Are they long pants or short pants,

  or long shorts?

  – Billy.

  Is Dubbo in America?

  – Emily.

  Is Dubbo in outer space?

  – Jason.

  Can he make a rhyme with orange?

  – Me.

  Do we call him Jackson, or the J-man?

  – Sophie.

  I can’t understand a word he says.

  – Mr Carey.

  I think he’s on drugs.

  – Sean.

  I think he’s on red cordial.

  – Peter.

  Why is he wearing a beanie in summer?

  – Ahmet.

  I like him.

  – Jessica.

  I still can’t understand a word he says.

  – Mr Carey.

  Welcome J-man!

  – Anna.

  I think they like me!

  – the J-man.

  Michael’s secret

  Emily and Jason

  have done it.

  They’ve kissed.

  Yeah – lips,

  open mouth,

  spit and teeth everywhere.

  I saw them.

  Like two question marks

  facing each other –

  joined at the top.

  Emily loves Jason,

  and so does Jason

  I reckon.

  Soon it’ll be all round

  the whole school

  unless

  we keep quiet about it.

  That’s why

  I’m only telling

  you

  and Peter

 
; and Anna

  and Billy

  and…

  Emily

  He’s kinda dreamy,

  and handsome.

  He’s like Brad Pitt

  in Troy,

  only he doesn’t wear a dress.

  He’s quiet,

  but that’s okay.

  He listens.

  And he kisses like

  he kisses like

  he kisses like…

  Well.

  He kisses good.

  Okay!

  Jason

  She thinks I’m handsome!

  And she says I look like Brad Pitt

  but without the dress.

  I hope she’s not imagining me naked!

  She talks a lot,

  but that’s great

  because I don’t say much.

  And I’m getting the hang

  of this kissing thing.

  It’s kinda nice –

  I mean it’s not like playing soccer,

  or eating lots of ice-cream,

  or going to the movies on the weekend,

  but,

  like I said,

  it’s kinda nice.

  The Principal welcomes

  our new secretary

  Good morning, children.

  Welcome to our Monday assembly.

  There are a lot of messages today.

  I expect you all to listen quietly

  and I thank our new secretary,

  Mr Jonesforthwalton,

  for compiling this list

  so quickly this morning.

  Welcome to our school Mr J-F.

  Sport is cancelled on Wednesday

  because girls are advised

  to wear hairnets in cooking class.

  The canteen is offering sushi at lunchtime

  and the winner gets a holiday to the Gold Coast.

  The school raffle has a few tickets left

  and remember the prize

  is a Maths Competition after school.

  Ms Park, the Year 5 teacher, warns everyone

  that there are angry magpies nesting

  in the trees near the oval,

  so please

  be careful of the bus passes in force from Monday.

  The office staff will only issue late passes

  to boys riding skateboards in the girls’ toilets.

  Finally,

  the two teachers caught kissing behind the gum trees

  by those children from Year 4

  are advised that next time

  their parents will be informed

  and detention is a certainty.

  Newsletters will be posted on Tuesday,

  and those items will be

  confiscated and destroyed.